Bittersweet
by Hiddendemon666
Summary: Kanda/Lavi, yoai,angst,rape,torture, don't like, don't read. Keep the ones you love close to your heart.....you can't always protect them.
1. Love's lost

NEW STORY FOLLOWING BREAKING THROUGH TO KANDA: This one will be a follow up, and more mature, as well as a more dramatic writing sequence and better plot twists. Hopefully… This is inspired by Stina the wicked, and her amazing story "The never played symphonies" The hands down best Sasuke Itachi fanfic ever written. Period. Now here we go.

Lavi's green eye slowly fluttered open in the early morning light. His mind took a minute, not focusing on the pale stone ceiling above him. His eye closed, and he slid back under the stained covers, his naked body snuggling into the still warm bed. His hands stretched out underneath the covers, searching for a body. A body he had been with most of the night, until they were both sweaty and exhausted.

_Kanda's shaking body fell on top of Lavi's. The man below him gave a small groan of pleasure, and slid his hands over Kanda's slippery back, pulling him close. The body heat from the two was staggering, and both men's breathing was quick, and ragged. Lavi's mouth moved to Kanda's throbbing neck and he gently nuzzled him under the curtain of blue hair. _

"_Mmmm…." Kanda moaned into Lavi's pillow, the mix of bright red and cool blue hair twisting into the sheets for a dramatic contrast. Kanda's nostrils flared. Lavi smelled amazing. Both men had that salty smell you get after a workout, as well as a fresh smell like spring, a new beginning. It was the smell of great sex. Kanda slid of Lavi and laid back on his back, still panting. His fingers locked around Lavi's wrist, and the bookman twined his own in-between. They were holding hands. They were holding hands after the most amazing sex ever. Lavi's irresistible grin came back, shining in the early morning. Lavi twisted his body over so he was more comfortable in the ruined sheets, and let his other hand, the one that was not being clutched by Kanda, run slowly over the mans heaving chest. _

"_That was amazing." Kanda's eyes locked with his, and the man gave an almost unseeable smile, and gave a stiff nod._

His long seeking fingers found only more cotton sheets. His eye snapped back open and he sat up, the cover falling back into his lap.

"Yu?" He whispered into the empty still halfway dark room. His eyesight was adjusting to the dim light, and he saw some familiar things. His hand slid back to the wooden headboard, and he pulled himself up a little. His fiery bangs fell into his eye, but he continued to take in Kanda's now empty room. Lavi's quick senses saw a pile of neatly folded clothes on the oak table by him, as well as a note nestled on top. He let his lips curve around in a smile, flashing his teeth.

Kanda had left him a gift. Still, the smile faltered as he stretched out for it, enjoying the pull in his lower body. It wasn't a hurt feeling, just that gentle pull you get after a good workout. Or great sex. Which Lavi had partaken in both last night.

His fingers scraped over the rough paper, and the smile returned as he took in Kanda's odd spidery hand writing. His vision was still clearing, but he could make out the ink on the parchment.

_On a mission. Should be back within a month or so. Don't touch anything. _

_ Kanda _

Lavi's heart skipped a beat, faltering in his chest and taking away the feeling of happiness from last night. Kanda, gone? Why? His bright green eye narrowed. They had taken Kanda away after Lavi had finally broken through. The red head fell back onto the sheets with a groan, his hand over his face. How long would he have to work to get that back again? It didn't bode thinking about. Lavi's sigh continued until all the air was out of his chest, and he read the note again, even though he had memorized it from the first glance. This was just not fair. He closed his eye and folded the note in his hand, crumpling the soft paper. All he wanted to do now was sleep. Sleep, and pretend that Kanda would be in the sheets the moment he woke up, and start this over. But he knew it wouldn't happen. One, because Kanda was gone, and Two, because he knew the bookman would be looking for him. Lavi didn't care. He was tired, and he honestly deserved a day off. He worked day in and day out for the old man, and now it was his turn. Plus, he knew what the panda faced man would say to him. "You'll be moving on soon enough. Don't get attached." But it was too late. Lavi was struck, and he knew it was wrong and he shouldn't be. But he didn't care. His eye fluttered, and his head rested back into the soft pillow, and he let the smell of the sheets, and even Kanda's faint scent fill his nose as he drifted off to sleep again, and in his dreams, it was if Kanda had never left.

Lavi felt weight, movement on the bed. In his still sleepy daze, his hand stretched out.

"Mm….Kanda?" He murmured softly into the afternoon air, his fingers searching for the body. He felt his fingers come into contact with a torso, and an exorcist coat. Lavi's eyes didn't open as he stretched up to meet his lover, and a voice woke him up in seconds.

"I'm not your Baka boyfriend." Lavi's eye snapped open and took on a look of horror as he stared up at his master, who was sitting on the bed. Lavi flew backwards, his head slamming into the head board, with a grimace, his hands both flew to the back of his head, while he stared at the bookman with a look of pure terror.

"Gramps…….I-I," But words would not come. The book man glared at Lavi, and it cut the boy as if the panda sized man had punched him in the stomach. This was worse than horrible. The bookman settled on the bed, sitting on Lavi's lap, obvious to the fact that his apprentice was naked. Lavi squirmed uncomfortably, but he didn't dare move off the bed. The book man's eyes bored into Lavi's terrified green one, and the boy swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as the book man sat on his crotch. Lavi winced as the bookman's voice finally came, and the old man stretched out a long boney finger, emphasizing each word with a hard poke in his apprentice's ribs.

"You know better. You know you know better. You, are never to do anything like this again. Ever." His eyes grew harder as Lavi swallowed, wishing the headboard would somehow open up and eat him. He flinched from the hard finger prodding into his chest and leaving a bruise, and as shame from the bookman washed over him in a wave. But the man was not finished.

"The rest of the week, you do not leave my side. I had Kanda sent away, so you would not be tempted. Do I make myself perfectly clear, Baka Lavi?" Lavi's voice could not be found. He only gave a short nod before his head fell forward onto his chest. The book man rose without another word. Lavi didn't move for a full minute, until the bookman's harsh voice called him to get his lazy ass out of bed. Lavi was going to pay for straying from the bookman's path, and he was going to pay hard. His mind pondered over what sort of punishment was in store for him, but he knew his mind was nothing compared to the bookman's. He swallowed as he pulled on his clothes from last night, not daring to take the time to clean himself up. His head hung as he slowly pulled open to door to face the wrath of the smaller old man. He was not disappointed in Lavi; he was shamed, and angry. Lavi knew he would take whatever the bookman would hand out, and be grateful he wasn't kicked out of the bookman's own personal family. And so began Lavi's personal week from hell.

It was only day two, and Lavi's body was sore. Not in a good way either.

"You missed here." The bookman pointed to a spot on the wall, and Lavi dared not answer, or complain. He only ducked the wet rag back into the slimy water, and began to scrub in small circles at the place the bookman had pointed out. Lavi's start of punishment was to clean the entire order. So far, he was only on the third floor. His knees had been rubbed raw from polishing the floor, his hands permanently pruned it seemed, and his back with a crick, as well as his neck from bending over and such. His muscle's ached from not being able to stretch out the full way when cleaning. He was no more than a much abused house wife at the moment. He felt his hand cramp up for the seventh time that morning, and he bit back a groan, and switched hands. He curled his fingers, trying to draw out the cramp, and the bookman came over. Lavi swallowed, and forced his tired arm to rub faster.

"Let me see you hand." Lavi was glad for the brief moment of rest, but held his hand out nervously. The bookman took it in his, and then before Lavi could blink, he had dealt it a hard slap. Lavi hissed in pain, drawling his hand back; the bookman wore rings. Pain flashed across his hand, and the bookman held out his hand for Lavi to place it in again. Lavi held back an annoyed look as he slowly placed his hand back on top of the bookman's. Four more times the boney hand smacked down, and Lavi's eyes watered. The back of his hand was a searing red, and slightly open where the bookman's rings had cut open the skin. The bookman pointed to the bucket and Lavi's eyes widened. It would sting, but still……he knew the big part of the bookman's punishment was not actually pain and labor, but learning not to break rules, and self discipline. He wondered what this one demonstrated.

"Don't switch hands until I tell you." Lavi gave a sigh. Of course. The bookman again pointed to the bucket, and Lavi held a grimace before plunging his hand into the bleach water. A breath hissed its way through his teeth as the bleach burned his skin. He started to pull out, until the bookman's voice stopped him.

"If you move before I say, I will pin it to the bucket with a needle." Lavi's eye lowered as he bit his lip while the bleach ate at his skin. And it was only day two.

By day four, Lavi could barely keep his eyes open, and his body was one giant ache. He and the bookman were currently outside the order, half way down the cliff face.

"Again." Lavi bit back a complaint, and forced his dead arms to lift his hammer once again. The bookman's hollow eyes watched as he again was forced to activate the fire seal. The dragon curled up into the air, and didn't reach the top before it faded. The bookman's eyes hardened and Lavi fought to get smoke out of his lungs with a watery cough. He had been working with his innocence all day, and Kanda had not once crossed his thoughts. The bookman's permanent frown deepened as Lavi's knees gave out. He shakingly tried to pull himself up with his hammer, but only succeeded in not falling to the ground. The bookman sighed, eyes piercing through Lavi's very being.

"You are weak." Lavi sensed this was the time for the lecture the bookman had been holding in. He watched the bookman walk slowly over to him, and he forced his numb fingers to tighten over the wood handle, and tried in vein to pull himself up. He knew what was coming, and he was too weak to stop it. He hadn't eaten since day one, and had barely anytime to rest, and little to drink. The bookman's foot dug into his stomach, and Lavi's grip slipped. He fell onto the rocks with a gasp, air not going into his stomach. His numb arms wrapped around his torso, as he got to his knees shakily, trying to breathe. As soon as his head was up, the bookman's fist crashed into Lavi's chin, and Lavi fell onto his back, his mind not making sense of the pain he was in, rejecting it as he crashed onto the rocks. He didn't move as the bookman stood over him, scowling. Lavi couldn't see anything but bright flashes of light. The bookman knew what hit Lavi hard, and he wasn't pulling any punches this week.

"You forget your place. You are not a normal boy Lavi, you know this. You have known it. Yet you tempt yourself, and give in to your foolish desires. You are here to watch, and only watch! Not to touch, or even think about anything but your work. You will stay here the next three days, no food, and whatever water you get will be from the rain. Come back up and see me after then, and not before." Then, as Lavi barely moved his head, the bookman bent down, his eyes softer and he ran his fingers through Lavi's shocking red hair with a gentle caress.

"Don't mess this up, Baka." The bookman then smiled, and stood, leaving Lavi on the crevice of a rock for the next three days. Lavi took his chance, and slept. Once again, Kanda visited his dreams.

So, tell me what you think, and the next chapter up soon, I swear it.


	2. Bewilderment

Not as good with writing for Kanda, but I love him anyway

Not as good with writing for Kanda, but I love him anyway. I own nothing.

Meanwhile, the real Kanda was sitting on a cold train seat, glaring into the pouring rain outside. His pale eyes narrowed. He did not like rain. Snow he could handle, but not rain. He was the only passenger in this car of the train, his white fingers wrapped around his innocence as he stared at his reflection in the glass. Something caught his eye, and he swore under his breath, clapping a hand to his collar bone. His eyes narrowed even more as he took in the circular red mark sitting so innocently on his skin. Lavi had left him with a parting gift. Kanda's expression did not soften as he turned away from the window, and swung his ponytail over the offending mark. He settled back into the seat, ramming his shoulder blades into the barely comfortable seat. He couldn't help but let his mind wonder back to that night, and of course, his fuck….er? Kanda's mind did not register the word lover, and doubted he ever would. They'd had great sex, and that was all. His mind wondered, and his eyes softened a shade as he remembered lying in the sheets with the man, and the feeling of his body against the others. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. What was he doing? He was on a mission…….or so he thought. He had wondered about why the bookman had sought him out in the early hours of the morning while Lavi slept in his bed. Kanda had been curious as to what kind of love life the bookmen had, and it seemed, the bookman didn't want Lavi to have one. He wasn't surprised there was an urgent mission….in a far off land….it would take some time, he must understand………Kanda gave a gentle hiss of frustration. He battled internally with his feeling on the train all through the night on the way there. And the next day. As well as the following night. Kanda did not sleep.

The train jerked to a halt, and Kanda's quick reflexes saved him from smashing head first into the seat. He stood, his eyes tired, and the start of purple bags under them. He had to get Lavi out of his head. He ignored the smile of the people of the town, whose name he didn't know, and went to the castle he was supposed to 'exorcize.' It was nothing something he was too willing to admit, but he wanted to get back. He didn't know the bookman very well, but knew he wouldn't take kindly to Lavi's…………interest in him, and wondered how much influence the bookman had on his missions. Kanda forced the red haired bookman out of his head as he stormed up to the castle doors, his temper in a peak performance. There was no answer as he took out his rage on the door, pounding his fist into it at a restless speed. He huffed, and sized up the door, the mark on his neck, not to his knowledge of course, exposed to the public. He let out a growl, and raised his leg. He smashed poor lock out of his way, and the door gave in with a bang.

"Answer me, now." He yelled into the house, wondering blankly if he had the address right. The hollow house echoed back at him. His eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. If this was the bookman's idea of a joke, crossing central command, as well as him………..the old man had better start digging his grave now.

As Kanda was staring in the doorway, a pair of eyes peered back at him, little did he know.

"Yes yes, come inside, pretty one, and let me play with you…." A velvet voice breathed, and with a smirk in the darkness, a white gloved hand flicked a switch on the wall.

Kanda's ears perked as the thought he heard a voice. Was it merely his own echo? Possibly……..Kanda jumped reflexively as he felt something whoosh past him. The door he had kicked in slammed shut behind him, missing his body by inches. Kanda swore as he rolled across the floor, his eyes searching in the dark. He held absolutely still. Nothing happened.

"Curse the damn wind…." Kanda growled, and stood up, brushing off his coat and glad no one was there to watch. Of course, Kanda couldn't have been more wrong. As soon as he stood, a laugh sounded throughout the room. It sent shivers down Kanda's spine, and he flinched in spite of himself. The voice was not creepy, it was…….sexy? Somehow, this worried Kanda more. But he was not the type to run. He pulled out his sword, and challenged the voice his eyes searching the house he had thought empty.

"Show yourself!" But how often did that work? Kanda's ears tried to trace the sound of the noise, but it echoed in this house, and he could not find the start of it. This aggravated him.

"No games get out here and face me." Kanda again growled out, his neck muscles tense. He didn't like to play hide and seek, and this was not improving his temper one bit.

"Ah, but the games have only begun, pretty one." Kanda was a little freaked out. Some random sex voice in the dark checking him out? What the hell had the bookman done? Sent him to a haunted whore house? As Kanda thought about this, he realized that somehow the idea did not surprise him.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Kanda hissed into the dark, unable to keep his temper in any kind of check at all. With a hiss, Mugen reached out in the dark, and Kanda released one of his attacks at the wood. The black creatures merely soared through the dark staircase, not coming into contact with anything and vanishing into the dark. Kanda was over mad now, and he felt red color his vision and all the muscles in his body tense. What the hell was going on? Kids at a Halloween party? Come on. The hairs on the backs of his arms and neck were standing on end, and he felt himself flinch, and turn, sword up. But of course there was nothing there. Kanda was pissed. Well, he could always just leave. He turned and stalked for the door, still on high alert as his boots clicked along the wood floor. His hand reached for the doorknob, but as he tried to turn it, it only gave a stubborn 'click'. Kanda's eyebrows furrowed. He had broken the lock when he kicked in the door. In the second of confusion this caused, something pounced on him, an arm wrapping around his sword hand, and the other over his mouth with some kind of cloth. Kanda fought to not breathe, but some kind of gas was invading his senses. His gag reflex was in overdrive as his body tried to rid itself of the foreign gas. He struggled for a brief moment, his foot slamming into a shin, but it did nothing to the hold on his body. The last thing he remembered was Mugen sliding out of his hand against his will, and the voice purring in his ear. He briefly heard his sword thunk into the wood, and he felt his arms fall as his muscle's all gave out on him.

"Only if you think it's funny."


	3. Where art I?

Once again, a new chapter

Once again, a new chapter. I own nothing……don't know why it comes up twice, sorry.

When Kanda woke, he wasn't sure where he was. His blue eyes didn't open, but he felt a dull light was provided. He didn't move, he kept his eyes half closed, and listened. There was no sound, other than a slight creaking, and, as far as he could tell, maybe a soft clicking noise that was muffled. As if it was behind a door. Kanda held his breath for another few seconds, his chest rising, but not falling. He then took stock of his position, which is what he should have done first.

The first thing he realized was that he was vertical. On a type of table in fact. But he couldn't move. His blue eyes roved up over his head to see his arms. Of course. Kanda gave a bit of a snarl, and pulled down, but nothing happened other than a tight strain in his muscles. His biceps were next to his face and his arms where tight above his head. He could move his hands, but he felt the cold metal of a manacle around both of his wrists. Okay, so he couldn't break chains. Next. He looked down, and realized with a start, that his coat was missing. He let out a soft snarl, his teeth biting into the soft flesh of his cheek until the salty tang of blood ran over his tongue. He needed to be quiet. What Kanda saw next, were his feet. As well as his wrists, there were chains on his ankles, and he found he could not move them. So his boots were missing as well. This was not going well, the only good thing was that his pants were still on, and his captor was no where to be found. Kanda's eyes narrowed. He was not stupid, he would not pull on the chains and hurt himself. For now, he had to observe. He looked again at his surroundings, and stopped when he turned his head. Something had brushed against his shoulders. His hair? Somehow, he had lost his hair tie. He felt his silky hair roll over one of his shoulders, and he held back a growl. His look around the room did not improve his mood. He noted a table nearby, and the things on it were not friendly. He saw his sword sitting on the top of the table, blue and white paint contrasting darkly against the shiny metal and leather sitting on the table. Kanda saw all manner of interesting things, knives, a whip, several straps, and something that looked like…..he honestly wasn't sure, but the closest thing would be some kind of metal rod. He did not wish to know its use. His mouth felt dry, and he nervously ran his tongue over his white teeth. He bit down on his lip again, and forced saliva into his parched cavern. Slowly, Kanda looked down again, his blue eyes going slightly wider. He again took in the chained hands and feet, and the table he was on. He swallowed compulsively, Adam's apple bobbing against his white throat. It now registered in his foggy mind what exactly he was chained to. A stretching rack. Kanda's mouth was suddenly dry again, and he felt his body go into a cold sweat. He fought back the rising fear in that made his stomach clench. There was a way out of this, there always was. He looked up, feeling his head bump the rough wood behind his head, and wiggled his white fingers. He could brush them against the metal cuffs on his wrist if he tried. And, he discovered he could move them over about two inches. His feet, were already tight to the table, he discovered to his horror. This, was not good. As if to accent this, a door behind him opened. Kanda's body froze as a reflex, and he immediately thought about closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep for more time to think. He forced his body to relax in the tight chains, and to slow his quickened breathing. He fought to keep his heart rate down as it pounded danger signals to his body, and not to flinch with each slow step on the floor. Whoever it was, was wearing boots, and each step Kanda's captor took, Kanda's body tightened in spite of himself. Kanda gave up with a snarl and opened his eyes after six steps from his mysterious captor. Kanda turned his head to the side, letting his hair make a curtain over his face. Two more steps and his captor paused. Kanda could tell he was right behind the table he was positioned on, and he also knew from the steps the man had took, that the room with the door on the other side, was not all that large. If he was let loose, he would have a good chance at escape. Kanda felt a cold hand rest on his shoulder, and he fought back a flinch as he turned to face his captor with a confidence he didn't feel. His blue eyes widened as he took in the person before him. A tall man, in a suit, of all the nerve, with curling black hair. Kanda's eyes roved over the mans prominent features, the dark eyes that matched the gently curving hair, and the black or blue top hat that perched on the man's head. The man gave a dazzling smile, and placed a hand under Kanda's chin. Kanda gave a violent jerk, tearing his head out of the man's hand with a hiss that escaped from between his teeth. The man gave a low chuckle, and reached forward again, and caught Kanda's chin in between his fingers. Kanda's eyes glared and his mouth closed in a tight thin line.

"You'll have to excuse me for being rude." Kanda snarled at the touch, and went to jerk, but the man's hand tightened; hard enough to bruise on the exorcist's chin and forcing Kanda's face back towards him, and Kanda didn't like the look in his captor's eyes as the grip hardened enough to make Kanda know he would have a bruise. He could not move his chin or tear his gaze away from the man in front of him.

"Now Exorcist, calm yourself." Kanda's eyes glared into the coal black ones now inches from his face, and he resisted the urge to spit into the grinning face as the fingers dug into Kanda's chin.

"As I was saying, it's not polite to keep a gentleman waiting. The Earl sent me here over a week ago, and it took you this long to get here, to save the townspeople that keep disappearing? Clearly, you're slipping." The man's charming smile returned and he squeezed his finger tighter still on Kanda's chin, making Kanda's facade of toughness break down into a grimace as something sharp from inside the glove drew blood. Then, with a laugh, the man let go and Kanda tore his head to the side. He could feel bruises forming where the gloved white fingers had been, flowering over his chin along with the thin trickles of blood down his pale bare chest.

"Who are you?" Kanda spat, trying, in vein of course, to get more time. Plus, this way, if he got out of this alive and could file a report, the others could hunt this sicko down. The man didn't answer him as he turned to the table with Kanda's sword on it. He lovingly picked up a scalpel, and ran it over his gloved fingers. The light caught the sharp blade, and the man peered at it as he twisted it in his thin fingers. With a coy look over his shoulder, the man gave a thin smile that made Kanda shiver, despite the warmer temperature of the room.

"Tyki Mikk, and welcome Exorcist, to my humble adobe."


	4. Conundrum

This one's shorter, sorry it took a while, my computer was off

This one's shorter, sorry it took a while, my computer was off. I wished I owned this, but alas, I do not.

Lavi woke with a start, his head snapping up against the rocks in the early morning light. His breathing was quickened, and a cold sweat had broken out against his skin. His eyes peered out into the grey dawn as he slowed his breathing down. His sharp gasps echoed on the thin rocks, and he watched the clouds from his mouth vanish into the morning air. Finally calmed down, he sat back against the rocks, his arms wrapped around his knees. His stomach growled against his spine, and he let out a muffled groan into his arms. He had one day left, and his stomach felt like it was trying to eat through his body. His mop of red hair fell messily into his eyes, as he tried to remember what his dream had been about. Kanda. Of course. But this time, it hadn't been a good dream. His eye shut as he forced the horrible images out of his head. Kanda, trapped and in pain while he sat here on a rock. He looked up, resting his chin on his cold arms as he stared out into the cold morning. It hadn't rained at all, and he had resorted to licking dew off the rocks. It was not something pleasant to do. He finally watched with tired eyes as the sun slowly rose to the clouds. He was miles off the ground, and despite the people he knew in the building above him, he felt all alone. His mind wandered over what he had done, and why. For once, he felt the old man was wrong. He didn't have to live this way, he could do both. Have a lover and keep the family pride. But deep down, he knew it was foolish to try. Others before him and done it and failed. As much as it tore Lavi apart, he knew he would have to choose. To stay and be loved, or possibly even lose that love, or to do the world a service, hiding in the cracks of the world and gathering information so they could all go on living. He didn't like the choice he was now faced with. But you can't stop what happens to you……could you? He sat pondering the world and his fate, and a lone tear welled up in his eye, and trailed down his cheek in the cool morning air. He raised a finger and caught it, and brought it before his eye to look at it. He gave it a sorrowful look, and crawled over to the edge of the rocks. With a whisper, he held it over the edge, and gave it a flick into the clouds, and watched it disappear.

"I'm sorry Kanda." And Lavi sat on the edge and let the last of his emotions for the one man he had loved, fall into the abyss where no one could find them.

I know you  
Don't know what I'm going through  
Standing here looking at you

Well let me tell you that it hurts so bad  
It makes me feel so sad  
It makes me hurt so bad to see you again

Like needles and pins  
People say "you've been making out okay  
He's in love don't stand in his way"

Well let me tell you that it hurts so bad  
It makes me feel so sad  
It's gonna hurt so bad if you walk away

Why don't you stay and let me make it up to you  
I'll do anything you want me to  
You loved me before please love me again  
I can't let you go back  
Please don't go  
Please don't go

Please don't go  
Please don't go  
Hurt so bad  
Come back it hurts so bad  
Don't make it hurt so bad  
I'm begging you please

Oooooh oh oh oh  
Come back it hurts so bad  
Come back it hurts so bad  
I'm begging you please  
Oh! No!  
Noooooo!


	5. Basment of horrors

Sorry it took forever, my computer crashed and I lost it all. Thanks for staying with me^^ I own nothing……………

Kanda bit his lip to hold back a whimper as the man before him dug metal scalpel into his skin. Kanda felt the thin tissue tear as Tyki slid the blade slowly, oh so slowly, into his snowy white chest, carving a thin line down his front. Kanda forced his teeth deeper into his lip to stop a light cry as the blade slithered down his chest in a strong line. Tyki peered over the line with an amazed fascination as he drew the line longer with one hand. He watched the thin but deep cut he made slowly fill with blood, and spill over. His other hand ran parallel to his knife, the white glove standing out by the red stream. His fingers worked there way down with the blade, all the way from Kanda's jaw, to his neck, and from his chest to his stomach. With a flourish, he slid the blade out, sending an artful flick of blood onto the table, his white gloves untouched. With a smile, he looked up at Kanda.

"Not bad for starters……" Kanda felt his muscles spasm in a shudder, but he forced his mind to stop them mid twitch, and glared at his captor. The cut stung, and he could feel his own blood seeping down his body in a ghastly red ribbon. Tyki had only pulled the rack up one notch; just enough so Kanda could not move his arms. The freezing metal dug into his wrists, and cut into his ankles, small flashes of pain that didn't matter to him. His blue eyes glared down at the man below him, who was now taking off his gloves with a deft movement. The man slid his bare fingers up to the hat brim, and pulled it off with a bow, smirking at his prisoner.

"Shall we start, then, my dear exorcist?" He purred, and Kanda almost retched, biting back the bile of his last meal, a sour taste filing his mouth. This was stupid. He didn't like one sided fights. His eyes narrowed as he fought over the small amount of pain in his body.

"Coward." Kanda spat at him, the words scraping out of his throat in an uneven hiss. His chest rose and fell; his boney ribs showing through the tough muscle with each breath, his throbbing heart pushing more of the precious blood out of his body. The cut on his chest flowed like a river, the small drops sliding down his legs now on their gravitational journey, and staining his pants like a fine rain. The cut on his jaw hurt the most, and with every beat, Kanda's eyes grew harder. The man below him gave a small chuckle, placing his hat on the table with a shake of his head. Kanda didn't consider himself gay, but he caught the way Tyki's black curls bounced along the broad shoulders, in spite of his pain.

"Ah, maybe," Tyki started with another small smirk at Kanda, his lips twisting over his perfect teeth, like the snake with the mouse. Kanda wanted to smash the man's teeth in, and watch those snowy whites fall like glass onto the concrete floor.

"But then, that would be no fun. You will have your chance…Exorcist." Tyki breathed out, and Kanda was startled. He waited for Tyki's hand to reach for another knife, or maybe a whip. But he watched, his blue hair drifting lightly over his shoulders as Tyki slid first one glove, then the other off. He laid them next to the hat, and clasped his fingers together, still staring at Kanda. To Kanda, Tyki looked hungry. For some reason, Kanda's thoughts could not seem to grasp why this was being done. A hate crime? He knew nothing of what Tyki was, or why the Earl was having such a fit. But it was the Earl, it didn't matter. But nothing could have prepared him for what happened next. Tyki walked, no, Kanda's eyes widened as Tyki strutted over to Kanda, and stretched his arm up over Kanda's head, the blue fabric rippling over a well built frame. Kanda's head twisted to meet the deep black eyes that stared back at him, the black curls flowing around the tan face like so many ocean crests. Kanda's own blue hair moved, as it was twirled around a slim finger. Kanda didn't say anything, just watched as Tyki wrapped the silky strand tighter around his finger like a candy cane stripe. He watched the blue curl around the 'gentleman's' lone finger with mild curiosity. He wasn't being hurt. For a full minute Tyki did this, not meeting Kanda's fierce eyes as he continued to stare at the strand.

"You don't have split ends…" Tyki murmured, and his arm, which he had been resting on top of the wooden rack, slid down. Kanda stared. His mind flashed over different possibilities, but he was pretty sure Tyki was nuts. But then again, Kanda didn't like where this was going. His body was sending off warning bells, his heart rate speeding up and sending rivulets of blood slithering down his body to mix with a cold sweat that had broken out over Kanda's shivering chest, diluting the bright red to a faded pink. Tyki's keen eyes noted this, as well as the fact several bumps were forming along Kanda's exposed arms, and the man's faint pink nipples that were now hard, and quite visible. He gave a flashing grin at Kanda, whose eyes had never left Tyki's, and now held an inkling of fear. With another deliberately slow move, Tyki slid his fingers out of Kanda's hair, and his hand cupped Kanda's cheek. Kanda flinched as the cool touch of another mans fingers touched the bleeding flow on his jawbone, but Tyki's grip hardened, his nails digging into the cut, and pulling Kanda closer. Kanda's eyes widened again, and his breathing quickened from the new flashes of pain as his nerve endings fought to keep up with the oncoming information. His chin was pulled forward, and it stretched his body away from the rack, and he held back a groan in his throat. With a charming smile, Tyki leaned forward, and laid his lips on the open wound. Kanda's body stiffened, and his eyelids stretched as they took in what was going on. He gave a shiver as Tyki's lips moved up the thin line of blood, and his warm tongue shot out and sucked up the line of red. Kanda's reactions were different. From fear, to pleasure, to being upset his mood flashed. His eyes closed and he willed his quaking muscles to relax as Tyki prodded the wound all the way up to his ear, the line of red disappearing. Tyki paused in his actions, noting the lack of reaction from Kanda. The man's chest continued to rise and fall, but at only a normal rate. Tyki pulled back, and his lips were a dark cherry red. He let his fingers trace over Kanda's perfection, his eyes narrowing. Kanda wasn't responding. He stepped back and shook his head, his dark waves of hair falling gracefully about his shoulders.

"Now, now, we can't have that." Kanda's eyes slid open, and he looked calm. Almost sleepy in fact. A thin hard smile curved its way over Kanda's face as he glared at his tormentor.

"Why? Something………..bothering you?" Kanda gave a harsh laugh that echoed oddly around the room as he closed his eyes again, ignoring Tyki. Tyki's fists clenched by his sides, his knuckles turning a white color as the veins in his skin stood out from the flesh. With a bitter smirk, he walked up to the table, and stepped up onto it, positioning his body so it was on top of Kanda's. He felt the body beneath him shiver as the warmth from the Noah hit his freezing chest, and drove Kanda's back against the hard wood of the table. Tyki wrapped his arms around Kanda, one hand going into his soft blue hair, and the other resting on his cheek. Still, Kanda did not open his eyes.

"Nothing at all." He whispered, leaning in towards Kanda's perfect face. He watched as Kanda's eyelids tightened and thin lines of stress appeared around his hair line. With a quick movement, Tyki slammed his lips against Kanda's. Kanda's eyes flew open as his mouth clamped shut. He pulled down on the chains, and only succeeded in pulling his arms as Tyki attacked his mouth. With a wrench, Kanda tried to move his head, blue hair swirling around him like a dark curtain. Tyki's hand moved to hold Kanda's chin in an iron grip, while the hand in Kanda's hair gave a painful twist, causing Kanda to flinch in pain. He fought back a groan from Tyki's actions, trying to keep his mouth clamped shut against the Noah's probing tongue. Tyki's only response to this was to pull harder against Kanda's hair, and Kanda let out a smothered cry as he felt Tyki's grip tighten, and part of his scalp start to tear. Even though his lips parted only a width of a hair, Tyki's tongue forced Kanda's open. Kanda thought he would throw up as his body reacted to the foreign object in his mouth. The warm and wet object sliding around in his oral cavity was setting off his gag reflex. His body withered beneath him as Tyki's weight pulled on his arms, and the wet tongue slid over his own now with a sickening flourish. With a silent scream of frustration, Kanda bit down on the thing invading his mouth with as much force as he could get. He felt Tyki tense and curse as the salty taste of blood filled Kanda's mouth along with the feeling of flesh between his teeth. Tyki wrenched his mouth away from Kanda's with a sharp hiss of pain, leaving some of the offending organ in his mouth. He clapped on hand over his mouth as the coal black eyes glared at Kanda, who smiled, blood dripping out of his open mouth like some kind of demon. Kanda was powerless to move as Tyki's other hand slammed into the side of his face, hard enough that despite the chains, his head hit the opposite side of the wooden board. Kanda let out a hiss of his own as his temple slammed into the wood and the cut on his jaw stretched, sending a fresh spill of blood down his neck and chest. He spat upon the wood as he let the fire in his body calm from the pain. He was dizzy from the blow, and his cheek stung and he could feel it starting to bruise. His hair made a curtain over his face as he glared at Tyki from under it, his eyes lost in the closeness of their colors. Tyki took another step towards Kanda, resuming his position on the rack over Kanda's body. Kanda's head turned slowly to look at the man as Tyki spat the blood on the floor. A thin smile stretched over the Noah's face, and Kanda realized, with a start, that the wound had already healed. Kanda's neck strained away as Tyki ran his fingers along the cuts fresh blood.

"You are going to wish you hadn't done that, Exorcist." Kanda swallowed nervously, but glared back at his captor none the less. _"Why do I feel like I already do?"_ Kanda wondered as Tyki's hot breath tingled in his ears. Oddly enough, his thoughts were of Lavi as Tyki moved up and down his body once again.


	6. Enter: Distraction

Thanks for reading^^ I'm sorry I've taken so long to get this up, our computer crashed, and well, I lost everything. But I'm getting stuff up now as quick as I can, and this is only part of the chapter, sorry for making you guys wait. Again, I own nothing! Curses….

Lavi was walking up towards the bookman's room, his feet dragging on the stairs. His head was held high however, the red locks bouncing against his forehead. He was exhausted and hungry, but he went up to the study, regardless, his face gaunt and his head empty. He knew what he had done, and still had to do. As he got to the door, he blew out a sigh and ran his pale fingers through his hair as his other reached for the brass knob. His boots scraped across the wooden floor of the study as he opened the door. He saw the bookman's odd ponytail over top of a stack of books. Without bothering to acknowledge Lavi, he kept reading. The red hair closed the door with a soft click, and turned slowly to face the bookman, his eyes downcast. For a full half an hour he stood on the floor, until the bookman snapped what he was reading closed.

"Ah, and what is you choice, Lavi?" His harsh voice was like grating paper, and Lavi looked up to meet the eyes of his master, who was slowly coming around the stack of books, his arms in his sleeves.

"I have chosen what I have from the beginning, no more." A moment passed, and the bookman gave him a soft smile, his face crinkling around its old edges.

"Good boy. Go get something to eat." With that, and a wave of his hand, he dismissed Lavi. Lavi's stomach set off a growl, and he turned and had to stop himself from racing down the stairs. The cook was happy to see him, and within seconds Lavi was devouring bowl after plate, after glass of food and drink. He didn't stop until his stomach was content and had a slight bulge to it. He wiped his mouth and stared at the stack of dishes in front of him in fascination. But he had other needs that need filling, ones he could not fix so easily. He sighed and pushed all the thoughts from his mind as he stood and gathered his dishes. As he walked back to the kitchen, he felt something hit his shoulder. Out of his mind with thoughts of things he shouldn't be thinking of, Lavi failed to catch the dishes as they fell one by one, and shattered on the floor. He sank to his knees quickly and started to gather the broken white pieces, not noticing who or what he had hit in his stupor.

"I'm terribly sorry!" A high pitched voice startled him as he watched another pair of hands enter his vision. One of them was a scared red color. Lavi paused in his work as he looked up into an odd face. White hair and an eye with a pentagram on it. As Lavi starred the boy bent down and started to collect pieces, and Lavi reached to do the same, and hissed as a shard embedded itself in his finger, sliding through his flesh.

"Ah!" He muttered, and shook his hand, glaring at the wound as if it would somehow fix the problem.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, let me help!" The boy went to his knees and stretched over, his normal hand wrapping around Lavi's. Before Lavi could protest, his finger was in the boy's mouth. He stared for a full minute, shocked, before he could pull his finger out of the warm cavern.

"………..what was that?" He asked the lad before him, who looked at him with a puzzled expression that somehow reminded Lavi of a rabbit.

"It could get infected." He explained simply, and bent to continue picking up the dishes. Lavi's expression of dumbfoundedness was replaced by his quick wit.

"That's only for a bite, you idiot." The white haired boy looked up with a grin on his face that for some reason, wanted to make Lavi blush, it was so full of innocence, but his trained eyes noticed something deeper, a hurt or suffering, but it disappeared so quickly, he couldn't be sure.

"I know, but better safe than sorry, right?" Lavi's heart skipped a beat and he quickly stood, wondering what in the hell was going on with his emotions. He knew he was still getting over Kanda, but to fall for a child? Nonsense.

"Sure. Who are you anyway?" He asked the youth, who had finished pulling the pieces into a pile and was nudging them into a safe corner where no one would trip over them.

"Allen Walker. Why?" Lavi shrugged his shoulders as he applied pressure to his bleeding finger, hoping it would stop before this odd boy could try to suck it dry again.

"I haven't seen you here before, that's all." Plus, the boy was different. Not to mention the scared arm, or the pentagram on his eye. Silently, Lavi's bookman reactions kicked in as he studied and made a note of the boy's appearance and everything else from possible threats to height. He seemed like a homely kid, dressed in a new exorcist outfit that hadn't been broken in yet. How odd. He must have arrived within the last two days; Lavi's mind was quick to go over. He assumed the child had been to the spirit below as well. However, he did not question the boy about it, seeing as it was an unpleasant experience.

"How old are you, anyway?" Lavi asked again, his natural curiosity getting the better of him. The boy looked at him with a wide and curious expression, his white bangs falling over his presumably good eye as he stared up at Lavi.

"I'm 16 if you must know, why?" Lavi eyes opened a bare touch wider. The 'kid' was only two years younger than him. That was odd; he usually wasn't this off in anything. He shook his head and blamed it on his clouded thoughts. He refused to think Kanda's name, or anything to do with the man, but couldn't stop the burning feeling in his chest, the whole that had been torn there.

"Nothing." He murmured and wandered off towards his room. He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, what's your name?" Allen asked, and Lavi turned with look, that was stopped again by the curious face of the new exorcist, that somehow was attractive.

"Lavi. Anything else you want to know? I'm kind of tired." He hinted, brushing the hand off his shoulder, and pausing as he felt the warmer temperature of the boy's skin, even thought the contact lasted only a second. Allen merely gave him a smile and a wave.

"I hope you rest well then." For some reason Lavi felt a dumb smile spread across his as he turned and went up to his room. How odd……….


	7. Video footage

I'm so sorry, I had chapters and forgot about them! Thanks for the reviews!

For the next few days, the bookman seemed to be placated by Lavi's actions, and despite his hard work, the new boy Allen seemed to be everywhere with him. From meeting in the corridors, to even eating together, Lavi couldn't ditch the younger child. The kid was something close to a leech, but Lavi could not bring himself to chase the child off. He sensed a kindred type of spirit, and despite his constant complaining, he was growing found of the boy. Along with the entire order, it seemed. Lavi learned over the course of a few days that the boy was 'cursed' with a seeing eye that could track demons. He found that compelling and convinced himself that was why he was so interested in Allen. Or maybe it was just his heart trying to fill the hole that he still had for Kanda. Who still hadn't returned. Lavi knew Kanda was more than capable to take care of himself, but it bothered him somehow. But whenever the cheerful kid was around, Lavi seemed more like himself and could almost forget the missing friend of his and what he had to face when his favorite exorcist returned. But despite the new distraction that he had been faced with, Lavi was worried. It had been almost three weeks now. Where was Kanda? And why had no one even heard from him, or his golem? He paused as his name was called in the hallway. Thinking it was Allen, he merely brushed it off, knowing the kid would catch up.

"Lavi!" The voice called again, and Lavi turned with a sigh that seemed to sink to the floor with its weight. His eye opened with surprise at what he found.

"Komui?" He asked, and the odd purple haired man nodded, and motioned with a hand. His expression was not a happy one. Mystified, Lavi followed, worry etched in his head. But long practice had kept those lines off his face as he followed Komui down a long flight of stairs to his lab room. Both of their boots made echoing noises on the stairs, and Lavi just knew somehow, that it was about Kanda. As they walked, Lavi's pulse sped up and he found himself walking side by side with the taller man.

"Komui, what's going on?" He hissed, and Komui looked at him, and put a finger to his lips as they rounded a corner, and Komui threw open the door and pulled Lavi in. Lavi was about to ask why Komui was doing this, what orders and such, but Komui's hands found Lavi's shoulders and shoved him against the wall.

"Lavi, I'm not supposed to show you this, but I think you should know………" Lavi's eye burned with a question that he didn't want to ask, no, he didn't want to know. One word escaped his mouth as his skin color drained to a pale transparent white.

"Kanda." He breathed, finally able to say the name. Komui gave a solemn nod and pulled Lavi gently towards a screen he had set up, and a golem hooked up to it. Lavi knew without asking. Komui pushed Lavi into a chair, his face solemn. Komui took a step back as the screen erupted into static, and then a series of images. A man with black hair and hard cold eyes peered down at Lavi, a wide smile on his face.

"Welcome. To my dear viewers, let me assure you, no harm was done to anyone in this film." His eyes sparkled, and Lavi's horrorstruck green eye was wide and his hands tight on the armrest.

"They may not, however, be the same ever again." The man let out a chuckle, and the screen changed. Lavi's breathing stopped. This is what he saw, horror struck, and unable to move and hardly breathe as his knuckles turned white, and the armrests beneath his clenching fists were crushed under pressure.

Kanda was resting on a wooden frame, held in place by chains on his wrists and ankles face down, his pale back up. The only thing that marked him as Kanda, was the mass of blue hair hanging around the bloodied shoulders. The man with the black hair prowled around the hanging body, smirking as he brought a cat of nine tails down again on the bleeding back. Open bone could be seen in places, and a carpet of blood rested upon the floor, undisturbed except for the ripples when fresh drops fell. The body twitch and quirked, and the chains shook as the body convulsed. Convulsed, but did not cry out as the echo of the leather on skin bounced around the room. Lavi flinched as if he had been struck, but watched on, unable to wrench his gaze away. Kanda's face did not rise, and the blue tattoo had appeared on his chest. The man smirked and strode over to the body, a hand sliding along the ruined flesh. The body, Lavi couldn't bring himself to think that it was Kanda, something so ruined, flinched away from the touch. The man slid slowly out of his clothes, pale skin seeming to glow in the darkness of the room in contrast around it. Lavi watched Kanda flinch as he heard the sound of a zipper pulling down, and clothes falling with a rustle to the floor. Not in the blood, because Lavi watched as the man stride over, naked, and hang his clothes on a peg by the door. The man turned and gave a finger motion to the golem, and the view narrowed to only Kanda. Lavi's breathing hitched as he watched Kanda's down turned face. The bright eyes were now closed, and Kanda's mouth was a hard line. There were no tears, only an acceptance that he was trapped, and there was nothing to do but wait, and endure. Lavi's horrified expression was froze in place as he forced himself to watch. Little did he know, Komui had long since turned away. Lavi's body shook as he heard the sound of one man's flesh driving into another. The sound of pounding bodies, and the rattle of chains, the sounds that he had made with Kanda before in such a loving manner. But never did he hear a sound from his fellow exorcist throughout the whole ordeal. Lavi had watched until the tears in his eye that he swore would not fall blurred his vision. His body shook and his silent cries tore through his body, releasing what he knew Kanda would not. His hands shook, and he longed to look away from the scene, but he didn't dare. Not for Kanda. But at the same time, for him, as he watched, cried, and trembled as Kanda was broken. After what seemed to Lavi an eternity of sounds from the man who rode Kanda like a dead horse, the sounds of flesh, and the moans of the rider that tore through Lavi's thoughts, he heard Kanda's voice. He heard the strain in his body as it fought not to scream so loud it would wake the dead. Lavi heard how the once angry voice shook with pain, and shame. That one word that he heard was too much for him, and his body collapsed and he fell from the chair, raking his hands into his eye to stop the tears.

"Lavi." That one word that pleaded, 'Save me.'


	8. Betrayal

Thanks guys, for sticking with me on this, I'll keep it up, I love this story just as much, thanks again^^

"And just where are you going?" Lavi turned as the short old fart in front of him grabbed his lapel and spun him to face his master.

"You are not going Lavi!" Lavi's green eye gave the panda shaped man a dead look and brushed him aside, the rim of his eye red and swollen, making the green almost glow with contrast. The short man snarled and delivered a sharp kick that left Lavi doubled over, holding his stomach. But Lavi didn't feel the pain. He felt numb, and a sweltering anger below that. Lavi stood up, power in his stride as he towered over the bookman.

"I've made my choice as an exorcist." He told the man, the bookman stared, anger filling up his eyes as he glowered at his apprentice.

"You can't save him." Lavi's temper flared, finally having a spark to ignite his flame.

"I will not leave a fellow exorcist there! How dare you use me as your own selfish reason for not helping him?" Lavi bellowed at the man, and the bookman stared, and then drove a finger into Lavi's ribs.

"We do not get attached!" Lavi snarled right back and slammed his fist into the bookman's smaller body, shoving him aside.

"I do not leave anyone behind! There is no 'we', it was always you!" Lavi's voice broke and he stormed out of the order, watching the train pull by until the cold metal bit into his hand as he grabbed the flying rail. He stowed on board and wrenched himself onto the roof, letting the wind whip his tears from his face. In the freezing night air, he watched the sky go by.

"I'm coming Kanda, and I'm sorry." He whispered as the train whisked him toward his lover's broken body, and the man responsible.


	9. Arrival

So sorry………….excuses mean nothing, I'm just happy to get this up for you guys again! It's short, I know………but better than nothing, right?

Kanda's mind could not put together a coherent though. His body was beyond pain. He couldn't feel anything but the throbs, endless aches, and the light fog his head swam in. Little food, and even less rest on the chained table. His eyes were glazed, and he didn't even respond to the hand on his chin anymore, his body knowing nothing but the endless cycle of pain.

His days went something like this: his light fevered sleep was broken by a morning beating, followed by a sexual activity of some sort, and then possibly some food, and then brief resting periods, before it started again. Kanda had passed out numerous times, but it didn't matter. He always awoke to the same nightmare. The same nightmare, and Kanda, could not escape. Despair was the only feeling he knew besides pain. It was no use to hope, he knew that. He didn't dare to hope. Hope was for the weak. As much as Kanda had been through, a string of his original self, that hadn't been snapped, bruised, broken, or rapped, held on to that. However, he had given up trying to escape until last week. 'Master' left no openings. After week two, Kanda had lost all his ideas, his determination, taken from him by a leather whip and the manhood of his captor. But just yesterday………Kanda had lost his will.

Tyki's silk hands gently lifted the pale face, the now illustrious locks of hair falling around the bruised face, caked with blood like some sort of sick artwork. Tyki's mouth was warm on Kanda's cracked lips, and his black eyes softly looked into Kanda's now blank ones, the determined fires now dim, and smoldering.

"Ah, look at you my pet. What's wrong?" Tyki's words caressed Kanda's face, and Kanda, out of muscle memory more than resistance now, twitched, and then finally flinched as the gloved hand slid along his broken jaw bone. Tyki's eyes sparkled as he watched Kanda's eyes close tightly and the shudder that rippled through the beaten body in front of him, waiting for more pain to come. Tyki however did not slap his victim this time. Instead, his hands slid slowly, carefully caressing his toy, as he whispered in the bitten ear, his hands tracing the bruised flesh with a frosting of hickeys on top.

"Your prince does not come; the villain………has won. Kanda, dear Kanda….." Tyki murmured softly, his words sickly sweet as they traced gently over Kanda's torn skin, and the man gave a soft sickly whimper, barely crawling out of the abused mouth that was no longer innocent and faded before human ears could have possibly heard. Tyki leaned closer, his ear on Kanda's mouth, disbelief widening his scheming eyes, and making his jaw drop.

"What is this?" Tyki's wicked grin returned, and he removed his hand, and slid around the body, his glove sliding off of his silken hand, as he prowled around his body, Tyki's frail temper snapping. The white glove crashed down on Kanda's flesh, the noise echoing around the cavernous room like the scream of a lost child. Kanda's body didn't register the pain, it was to far gone. Tyki's voice rose in anger, seething, its flames licking along Kanda's body like a psychical assault.

"Why is it, all my work, the pain, the abuse, and I finally break you with a mere touch? What is wrong with you boy?! I WANT YOU TO SCREAM FOR ME EXORCIST!" Tyki stood, panting lightly, and with a grimace of distaste, flung the now torn and stained glove at the body, and ran a hand through his slightly out of place hair. Tyki took a deep breath, and then let out a sigh, sitting on the table by Kanda's back with a shake of his head, leaning back on Kanda's back, digging his elbow's into the cracked ribs of the exorcist's back, using him like an odd piece of furniture, and absentmindedly stared at his fingernails.

"Ah, but we have time, don't we, exorcist?" He whispered, and his ears perked, catching a far off noise. A grin broke out across his face, as he looked down at Kanda with eyes aglow.

"That is, if you live that long." His smile widened in a Cheshire like grin as footsteps fell on the floorboards above, harsh and quick. His eyes began to glow and his face became less than human as the door above the stairs crashed open. Tyki spread his hands wide and gave a harsh laugh to the intruder, who stood framed in the low light of the door, red hair standing out like a flame in the dark dungeon below. Tyki's smile widened and he stroked Kanda's now wasted hair, the gloved hand running down the still bleeding back.

"Well now, where one goes, the other follows. Lavi, I assume?" Nothing broke the silence, except for the light stepping on the stairs, the junior bookman's eyes hooded in shadow, his mouth set in a grim line. Tyki turned from the exorcist to whisper into Kanda's ear, his lips barley touching the outer shell of the battered surface, when something hit him. Lavi's innocence smashed into Tyki, the full force of the bunt hammer slamming into his face, sending him flying off of Kanda and into the nearby wall. The Noah gave a grunt as he slammed into the far wall, stones crushing into his body and making an indent in the wall. Stones broke and fell, clattering on the floor. Tyki felt something warm run down the side of his face, and he let it run over his white glove, watching the stain spread. He let out a low growl from the surface of the rocks, and stood, stone dust lightly drifting off of his shoulder onto the floor. His boots clicked, and he kicked a stone out of his way, and it flew into the table, making the leg crack. His black eyes took in Lavi's form, frozen where Kanda was. Lavi didn't touch the broke body though, and Tyki could finally see his green eye. It burned like fire, and the determination glowed like a laser, cutting through Tyki's keen senses. He felt a laugh boiling up through his body, and it echoed around the chamber, his own eyes glowing and spreading over his face.

"What is this, exorcist? Come to take something of mine?" His hands spread as he chuckled, and a slam of a hammer was all that was heard before a blaze of heat filled the cavern. Tyki took a step back from a roaring, crackling dragon made of fire and lightning. He put up his hands, but the dragon slammed him into the stairs, passing through his body, making his very bones burn. Tyki stood, his clothes singed as the dragon left, and Lavi stood, right by his lover's side, anger blazing hotter than his dragon.

"You'll have to do better than that, Exorcist." Tyki breathed, and before he could blink, the red head was in front of him, hammer raised to strike, still between him and Kanda, protecting him from Tyki.

"I plan to."

I'm writing more as I post this, so thanks for all the reviews, and sorry! -_-U


	10. Memories

"Kanda?"

Kanda's body was somewhere in limbo. His mind couldn't focus, but something told him that today's session was off. His drowsy eyelids would not open, or, maybe they were, but he couldn't tell. His body, was beyond pain. Everything hurt, his mouth was dry, and his stomach churned.

Kanda thought he felt himself move, and he didn't bother to struggle. In his mind, things would always get worse. However, he couldn't place the large thuds and bangs he had heard in the room at all. He didn't want to make sense of it…………….He just wished……….

No…………

No……………

He didn't want to………

He didn't want to die. Did he?

"Oh God, Yu, please!" Kanda heard the voice again, shill and chocking, his mild irritation coming back. Was he already dead? If so, what was that Baka doing here? Kanda struggled to contemplate this with his high fever and decaying body systems. Ah, that wasn't Tyki……..Kanda's dreary mind put together, and he couldn't figure out why, but this was good.

"Yu, don't make me, please, please, don't make me remember this, Yu!" Gah, that voice. All he wanted to do was sleep. He thought about moving his arm to make it go away, but when he did, his body flared with pain, acid spots of burning withered down his entire body, and he wanted to scream. Just like he had wanted to scream for the past three weeks from hell. He just wanted it to be over. But his arm had moved? Was he free? Kanda's mind was clouded with a dark fog, and he couldn't seem to get things. The tendrils kept…………slipping out.

"Kanda, please, please don't die. Come on Yu!" Something wet now on Kanda's face. What? Why was it raining? Kanda's sensing were trying to come together, and what he gathered from the burning in his lower limbs, he was not on the table anymore. But where? Kanda's eye lids managed to flutter, once, twice. His eyes were glossy, and ill focused. More water spattered on his face, and some of it went into his mouth. Salt? Ugh.

Kanda's eyes only took in colors and what he saw……….red and green. Christmas? No, it couldn't be that. Christmas didn't cry. Christmas was happy………..happy………..not sad. Not sad………..crying……….Baka…………..LAVI! Kanda's mind was finally able to put together, and Kanda forced his broken jaw bone to move a little, giving into a wince of pain.

"L-la-Lavi…….." He managed to force out, in a croaked whisper, his throat parched along with the rest of his body. Lavi was here. Things were………..okay. Instead of the tears stopping, Kanda felt more fall on his face, and held back a groan as the arms wrapped around his body.

"Kanda! I'm………..WAAHHHHH!" Kanda would have rolled his eyes if he had the strength, and somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered what had happened to Tyki, but couldn't find the words to ask. The sobbing continued, but Kanda felt alright. In his mind anyway. His body was a mess of broken bones, massive cuts and bruises, and well, victimized.

"…..Sleepy………..Baka…………thanks…….." Kanda managed to say before once again the dark mistress of night swept all consciousness out of Kanda's body.

Lavi had to stop crying. But with Kanda passed out in his arms………….Lavi chocked back tears and searched around the room, loath to leave his lover alone. Tyki's body was somewhere in the rubble, and Lavi wanted to get out as soon as possible. And Kanda needed severe medical attention. Now.

Soon, he found a blanket, but could not find Kanda's clothes. His shaking hands grabbed Mugen off of the table, and he bent towards Kanda's unconscious form. As gently as he could, Lavi moved Kanda's broken body onto the blanket, and wrapped it around him, thanking god that it was warm out.

Kanda was heavy, but to Lavi, it didn't matter. His lover had suffered more than enough. Kanda needed attention as soon as possible, but Lavi would not risk staying in a hospital nearby. Lavi was curious to see if Kanda's body would heal faster, or if Tyki's actions had totally drained Kanda of that power. He didn't know.

Within minutes, Lavi was on the train with his wrapped bundle, and Kanda's breathing was a little easier if nothing else. His body still felt to hot to Lavi, and the man took off his coat and placed that on top of Kanda's body as well, in hopes that maybe Kanda could sweat out his fever. He didn't know what else to do. It would be hours before anything could be done. Lavi had sent the golem ahead with news, and people were standing by to help at the order. Now, all that was left was the train ride back.

Lavi sat in the seat and placed his elbows on his legs, and hung his head in his hands. What was he going to do now? He had no future outside of the bookmen. But Lavi was determined to make both of these work. Attachments were a liability, he knew that now. The only way to protect Kanda was to leave him. But now….Lavi took in the damaged body that had once been fair and strong. He had a lot of thinking to do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Amid the rubble downstairs, a crackling laugh split the room. Tyki stood out of the smashed rocks and staircase, popping a broken bone back into place with a torn but still gloved hand, his crazed laughter echoing around and around the room. He finally stopped and slowed his frenzied breathing, excited from the earlier fight, and still a little sore. Even for a Noah.

"Tyki-pon?" Tyki half turned to find the Earl perched on the steps, and Tyki's dark shade of skin paled a little.

"Earl-sama…….." The Earl merely shook his head and stood, coming over and resting a hand on his Noah's shoulder. Tyki fought not to flinch as the wide and smiling face turned towards Tyki with eerie slowness.

"Do you think we did it?" The Earl asked Tyki in his normal voice followed by a heart floating in the air by Tyki's head. However, the hand on the Noah's shoulder tightened, and Tyki fought back a cry as the Earl's hand drove into his broken shoulder with a certain zeal that said he just might be in the smallest bit of trouble.

"Yes, Earl, I think we've disturbed the bookmen. Now, the next generation will have a gap, and only we will have information about the 14th…………." Tyki left off, and then finally sank to his knees in agony as the Earl's hand pushed him down, that smile never leaving his face. Tyki let out a muffled cry of pain at his master's cruel attention, half also because the color of the earl's eyes darkened a shade.

"Oh my, Tyki, you need medical attention! How sad……" The Earl smiled, his eyes gleaming and that alone caused Tyki to shiver. Something had gone wrong…………shit. Oh yea, double shit.

"Come now Tyki-pon~" The Earl cooed, and Tyki stood to his feet rather warily, and lit a cigarette with his good hand, still staring at the Earl. His mission was done, but what about the rest of the Noah? He was taking it that all had not gone as well as he had hoped. Tyki was missing the obvious……..

"So where is the body of bookman junior, Tyki-pon?" Tyki froze, and the cigarette dropped hot ash onto his arm. He didn't notice.

Shit.

"Ah……Earl-sama……………….." Tyki could not find words, and watched with a horrid sinking feeling as the Earl started to search the rubble for the red haired exorcist's body. Not good…………Tyki had finally put two and two together. Yah for math skills!

"I, ah……was unable to obtain……..the body…….." Tyki finished, staring into the dirt, eyes closed.

Fuck.

Tyki let out a breath as he heard the Earl paused and then turned to face him. Tyki then let out a flinch as the Earl's gloved hand lay on his cheek, much the same way he had done with Kanda, not hours before. Life's full of little irony's like that, Tyki thought rather bitterly.

"Ah, well that is to bad Tyki. You'll have to be punished~" The Earl cooed, and Tyki let out another sigh. Hoo, boy. He merely bowed and gave the Earl a nod while feeling physically sick.

"Yes, Earl-sama."

Thanks for reviews, I think its only going to be, like, maybe five more chapters. I want to end it, but I'm not sure how…..thanks for reviews!


	11. Homecoming

Light shone in through the doorway of the order, and lit up the scene around Lavi as he walked in, beams of light outlining his body. The bustle of activity around him stopped as the normally joking bookman strode into the order, oddly quiet.

Lavi's red hair was in disarray, his green eye somber and looking straight ahead, ringed with red, and slightly swollen. However, it was not the jokeless Lavi that was the source of everyone's surprise and wonder. It was what the bookman was carrying in his arms.

A messy mop of blue hair hung over Lavi's pale arm, swinging in time to Lavi's slow funeral like steps into the order. Carefully cradled in between the bookman's chest was the bloody mass of body that was Kanda, now modestly covered in a thin sheet that would not aggravate Kanda's wounds. The exorcist's eyes were closed, and his breathing was heavy and fevered.

Finders watched as the blue haired man's eyes opened, and a haunty stare came out of the eyes that were once bold and brash. Kanda's pale dark eyes were dead, but that old spark of anger was there. Finders saw the mouth of the man move, but couldn't hear what was said as the red haired exorcist strode past them.

"Lavi……….put, me, down." The rasping whisper came from the broken man's mouth, still, in all his pain, fighting for his pride to walk among the people he had looked down on for so long. Kanda did not want their pity. He had failed.

"No." The reply that came back from the red haired man made Kanda painfully glance up at the man that had defied him. His dark and smoldering eyes met the firm green one of his lover, and as much as he would never admit it, his savior. The man he had called on for help, and his hope in all the darkness he had suffered. As Kanda's exhausted gaze met that of Lavi's, the bookman's face softened, just a shade.

"No." This time, the reply was soft, and shushing. For once, Kanda didn't argue. It was okay, he was safe now. Almost against his will, Kanda's eyes closed, eyelids closing on the curtains that showed the world how much he was hurt.

He let his aching head fall forward, and nestle in the folds of Lavi's exorcist coat. A small sigh escaped his lips, not enough for anyone else to hear. It was okay. He was safe now. Safe here……….with Lavi. He should have known better.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Four days later, Lavi was leaning on the doorframe of the infirmary, the smile back on his face, his hair brushed again, and in new clothes. His knees were bent and his white teeth gleamed at the scowling man strapped into the white hospital bed.

The pale blue hair was brushed, and pulled back into the usual ponytail, and Kanda looked like he was back to normal. The bookman jr. knew differently. In the dark and back part of Kanda's eyes, was something dark, that Lavi knew would not go away. It was a part of him now, and Lavi knew that.

Lavi stopped leaning on the wall and walked into the room, the smile gone now. He was glad that Kanda was better, but he was different now. The only thing in the room that had color, besides Kanda's hair, was the brown leather that was around his wrists, keeping the proud exorcist to the hospital bed. After just two days in the infirmary, Kanda had tried to walk out of bed and reopened his wounds.

Kanda's head turned sharply, his blue ponytail swishing through the air as he looked away from Lavi, and made a sharp noise out of his nose. If it was anybody but Kanda, Lavi would have said that it was childish.

Kanda had earned a certain right to be childish though. Lavi let out a sigh, his eye fighting not to linger on the many bandages and bruises that covered Kanda's body. His pale fingers found a chair, and pulled it closer to the bed, and sat down, his eye closed.

"Kanda………" He started, and looked again at the man who had lost so much. The ponytail bobbed, but it didn't turn around and show him his lovers face. Lavi had been in the room for almost all of the time that Kanda had been there. He had not gone to the bookman yet. He didn't know if he could. Kanda had not said a word to him, or anyone else.

Lavi's eye found the floor, and he clasped his hands together, looking at his boots. What do you say to someone you rescue from a serial rapist in a basement? On why he had left him there, for three weeks. He heard the sheets rustle, but Lavi didn't look up. Why wouldn't Kanda talk to him? Was he ashamed? Did Lavi do something wrong? He didn't know. He just didn't know.

"Leave." Lavi's head snapped up to find Kanda's coal colored eyes boring into his, the anger smoldering deep down, and directed right at him. Lavi didn't know what to say. Why was Kanda pushing him away? He had sacrificed everything………his eye tightened as he met Kanda's, who just stared at him. Why? Did Kanda want to die there, to stay there? Hadn't it been Kanda who called _his_ name? Lavi felt his temper rising, despite the fact that he felt sorry for his lost friend.

"Why?" Lavi whispered, his anger still beneath the surface of his screaming red hair. He didn't understand. Kanda's eyes met his for a second longer, before turning away again.

Lavi's temper boiled over. Four days of no talking, no words to him, the thanks on the train, and now he was being snubbed? Lavi didn't understand. As a bookman, he understood everything! Why was a mere human so difficult? Hell, he wasn't even a bookman anymore! Didn't that matter to Kanda? Didn't that matter? He put everything, everything on the line, and now, he was loosing it all. The part he had thrown away to save, and now the man he had saved didn't want him to be here.

Lavi stood sharply, and his chair knocked over on the floor, the plastic chair bouncing off the metal floor as the exorcist stood, hands clenched at his side as his body shook. He looked down at what he had lost his world for, the man he loved that didn't want him here.

Normally Lavi would say that Kanda was only being moody, and wanted to be alone, but he had lost and gone through to much in the past week to be emotionally stable. Lavi snapped.

With his whole body shaking, Lavi's green eye blinked once, and his hand rose. Without looking at Kanda, the back of Lavi's hand slammed into the healing jaw that he had kissed, not even a month before. The bright green eye was blank as his hand connected with Kanda's bruised cheek, and other than that, he made no movement.

Slap.

The noise echoed in the small white room, and Kanda's head twisted more towards the side that he had been facing. Lavi didn't say a word, and lowered his hand, his eye burning. He had slapped Kanda hard enough that his hand hurt, and he didn't care that Kanda was healing and in a lot of pain. Kanda had cost him so much, and the man didn't even seem to care.

With a turn of his heal, and eye burning with unshed tears, Lavi strode to the door, his emotions spent, and confused. His walk was stiff, and he didn't look back.

"Lavi." Lavi didn't turn around as the sharp voice called to him, and only paused in the doorway, his pale hand on the white frame, his red hair hanging in his eye as he looked at the floor, his anger far from burnt out, but he could feel those still proud coal eyes boring into his back.

"Go back to the bookman." Lavi was already frozen against the doorframe. The tears spilled over now, and Lavi's hand slid off the doorframe. How did he know that? The only noise that Kanda heard was the door slamming into the frame as the red head disappeared around the corner, tears trailing down his cheek.

Thanks again, I love you all!


	12. Feelings

Lavi was sitting on the stone stairs, his red hair, so bright against the dreary grey stone buried in his hands. The cold had seeped through his pants, and his back hurt, but he didn't care. He didn't care. He was confused, and hurt. Lavi had been sitting on the steps for over three hours, crying.

Kanda had shunned him, because he knew that Lavi had left the bookman for him. Did that mean that he didn't love him? Or that he loved him so much to force him away, and back to his life? Lavi didn't know. But he had nothing because of it. No lover, no bookman, no reasons.

Because of this, Lavi was crying. His eye had long since run dry, but he couldn't stop. His body shook with dry sobbing heaves, and his voice was gone. He needed water, but didn't want it. He didn't know what he wanted. Go back and make Kanda take him? Or try to crawl back to the bookman, who had banished him. Each option seemed a dead end.

Allen had been wandering around aimlessly, like boys are prone to. He hadn't heard from Lavi since he had stormed out to 'save Kanda.' Who the hell was that? From what the cursed boy had heard, nothing good. A snob, an asshole, so why was Lavi risking his life? The answer brought a blush to Allen's face.

Because they had fucked each other. Allen had wondered for a while though, were Lavi's feelings for him…………..like that? Allen didn't know, and he didn't want to think about it. He really didn't swing that way………..or at least, he didn't want to.

As fate would have it, Allen had heard that Lavi was back, and had gone to see the mysterious Kanda. What he had seen had taken his breath away. Even bruised and broken, Allen could tell Kanda was……..perfect. The way his blue hair fell around that perfectly shaped chest, the way the lines curved down his perfect body. The way those coal black eyes looked against the pale skin and dark hair.

He had no chance.

If he was into that kind of thing.

Which he totally wasn't.

No way.

Yeah right. Allen let out a sigh as he walked, hands in his pockets.

He had the same chance as a snowball in hell. As luck, and the author would have it, a sound struck Allen's ears. A harsh sobbing noise. Allen wasn't overly nosy, but he was curious. That small white head poked around the corner of the stairwell, and his eyes widened at what he saw.

"Lavi?" His voice was soft, un-matured still for the fifteen year old. Allen couldn't figure out what might have been wrong, but he moved cautiously down the steps, his hand going towards Lavi's shoulder. He felt the man stiffen, and turn to him, dried tear trails on his face, and that same smile, although, now it was fake, and Allen was not fooled.

"Hey Allen!" It was meant to be cheerful, but Lavi's voice was too harsh. Allen moved forward, and sat himself on the steps by Lavi's stiff and hurting form. Concerned blue eyes met Lavi's green and now swollen red one, and Allen wondered what had happened.

"Lavi….." Allen asked softly, his voice gentle. He had not seen this side of the man who was his friend. Always cracking jokes, smiling……..this was scary. The man on the stairs was confused, hurt, and un-loved. A small part of Allen screamed to take his chance and shove Kanda away. But the bigger part of Allen chased it away.

"What's wrong Lavi?" Allen's voice was careful, and he watched the bookman's face. Lavi's face turned to Allen's, and the white haired boy watched the carefully made mask fall apart, piece by piece. The eye fell, and the red head looked away. Allen had to strain to hear the next words that were said.

"I'm not…….a bookman, anymore." Lavi's voice had broken again when he had tired to say bookman, and Lavi couldn't take it. He started sobbing again. His tear ducts were past dry, but he couldn't stop. Allen froze as the former bookman crumbled over, clutching his knees and sobbing.

"…" Allen had nothing to say. No one knew. The bookman had carried on as normal, and told no one. This was bad. Allen did the only thing he could. He carefully slid his arms around Lavi's shaking form, and pulled him close, holding the shaking man as he cried. The part of Allen that wanted Lavi purred happily.

Allen didn't do anything, but hold Lavi as he cried. Cried for all he had lost. He whispered soothing words in Lavi's ear as he broke down in his arms. Rocked him back and forth as the red head buried his face in his small chest.

Allen was there when Lavi's body stopped shaking nearly two hours later. He sat there with the lost bookman in his arms, and the red head looked up at him, and slowly pulled out of his arms. Allen noted a look in Lavi's eyes that hadn't been there before.

"Allen……" Lavi started, but Allen held up his cursed hand in front of Lavi's mouth, his eyes were hard. He had done some thinking while Lavi was crying in his lap.

"Lavi, you know how to fix this. We've all had our battles, and this one is yours. In war, you win or you die. Are you going to crawl up and die Lavi? Are you?" Allen said everything softly, not wanted to deal with a depressed Lavi, but not wanting to be his crutch. Lavi was grown up enough to do this. Allen was 15 and he knew that.

Lavi's eye looked up at him, swollen and still red. Red enough to match his hair. Allen stood slowly, still looking down at Lavi from across the steps. It was up to him.

Lavi slowly stood up on the stairs, his body a little stiff. He locked eyes with Allen, and gave him a brief nod. Allen watched, head turned, as the red head made his way back up the stairs, one at a time. Lavi had made his mind. Allen watched as that signature scarf of Lavi's whipped around the corner, and let himself a small smile. Everything was going to be alright now. He just knew it.

Oh to be young and stupid, just once.


	13. Bookman

((So that last one was a little corny, but I wanted to do something for Allen. I don't want him paired with Lavi, but more of a friend thing. I'm know how its going to end, it should only be like, three more chapters. Maybe two. Thanks for sticking with me!))

The panda shaped bookman was sitting on his desk, arms folded, and his eyes on the door. Lavi had not come to him in six days. His eyes narrowed as he recalled as the boy he had closest to family stormed off. A soft smile almost curled around his mouth.

The bookman had been young once too. He had also had someone……….close to him. The bookman's face hardened and the flint like look of his eyes returned. However, that did not excuse Lavi's behavior. Not one bit. The bookman had once left his master as well, and he knew what had happened. Lavi must do the same.

The bookman turned as he heard a light knock on the door, and his hands slid into his sleeves again, as he turned and glared at the timid looking boy peering around the corner, eye downcast, and looking ashamed. The bookman's eyebrow rose as he was reminded of Lavi at a younger age, and then the stern look on his face was back.

"Lavi. Inside." Lavi swallowed nervously, and rubbed the back of his head, and slowly stepped inside the door, and then carefully shut it silently behind him. Lavi could not bring himself to look the bookman in the eyes. Not after what he had done. He walked forward four steps, and stared at the bottom of the desk where the bookman sat. Or stood, it was hard to tell.

"What." The bookman's voice was hard and cold, and not a question. It was a statement of what Lavi had done, and how angry he was. Lavi sank down into the carpet, his knees hitting the bottom of the desk. He still couldn't look at the bookman. He knew…………

"Lavi!" The sharp remark hit Lavi hard, and he flinched. Slowly, his gaze traveled up the wooden desk, and into the sharp eyes of his Master. Finally, Lavi's green eye locked onto the dark ones that the bookman wore surrounded in the black that he painstakingly put on every morning.

"Well?" The bookman taunted, and he slid forward on the desk, so his eyes were level with Lavi's green one. Lavi swallowed, and slowly, started to say what he wanted, the huge knot of ashamed feelings slowly, ever so slowly, loosening.

"I'm sorry. I was stupid." Lavi simply stated, and went to go farther, when a fist slammed into his head, sending his body crashing into the ground. Lavi lay stunned in the carpet, and flinched as the bookman jumped onto the carpet by his shoulder. Lavi twitched as the bookman's hand grabbed his chin, and wrenched his gaze upward.

"You're an idiot." Lavi gave a nod, as his gaze was forced up to the bookman's as he lay on the ground.

"Say it." Lavi swallowed, but kept the bookman's gaze.

"I'm an idiot." Lavi tried to look down, his feelings mixed, and still feeling rather ill.

"You're what?" The bookman growled, and Lavi gulped, forcing the huge lump in his throat down as the bookman's ringed hand rose near his cheek. This was the only chance he was going to get, and even then, there was no guarantee.

"I'm an idiot, Master." Lavi winced, and gave a hiss of pain as the bookman's hand slapped into the side of his face. The other hand, the one that had his chin in its firm grip, tightened.

"You are a fool!"

"Yes, Master." Slap.

"You are not worthy of being a bookman!"

"Yes, Master." Slap.

"You are pathetic!"

"Yes, Master!" Slap.

"You don't deserve a second chance!"

"Yes, Master." Slap. By now, Lavi could barely feel the right side of his face; everything went from a sharp burning to a dull and throbbing ache that promised to kill later. Lavi was unable to keep the bookman's gaze, and he was once again staring into the carpet.

Something wet landed on Lavi's smarting head, and he looked up, to find a lone tear had run its course down the bookman's face. The hand on his chin loosened, and Lavi was allowed to sit up. The small arms wrapped themselves around Lavi's stiff form, and the bookman pulled him into a sharp hug.

"You really are an idiot." The bookman whispered, as he pulled his apprentice close until Lavi didn't think he could breathe. Lavi's face softened though, as his aching head was pressed into the soft folds of the bookman's robe.

"Yes, Master." Lavi softly whispered, and the bookman let out a laugh. Lavi winced as a fist slammed into the back of his head, and he about chocked on the folds of fabric that the bookman wore. The bookman smiled and pulled Lavi away from him, holding him at arms length.

"You always were cheeky." Lavi let out a little noise in the back of his throat, and then felt himself starting smile. The bookman's thin face broke out into a wrinkly smile, and he stood, keeping his hands on Lavi's shoulders.

"I couldn't let you go, you know too much, idiot." Lavi's grin widened and he went to stand, only to have the bookman drive his fingers painfully into his shoulders. The smile faded, and Lavi winced as the metal coverings on the bookman's fingers dug into the skin.

"Don't try it again." The bookman gave Lavi one last fierce glare, and then let up, his fingers sliding up to Lavi's mop of red hair. With a sigh, the old panda like man ruffled the crazy looking hair, and Lavi's gaze was able to meet the bookman's without fear.

"Thanks, Panda." Lavi let out a smile, before a vein in the bookman's head popped.

SMACK!

No! It's of course not done! There is one more chapter! Thanks for reviews, and I can't wait to finish this!


	14. All's fair

Epilog

It had been two weeks, since Lavi's falling out with the bookman, and being taken back in. It had also been two days since Kanda had been out of the infirmary. Kanda was being moody, and finally being out really didn't help him all that much. He, as much as he would never admit it, missed Lavi. The re-accepted bookman had not come to see him.

How was that fair? Kanda angrily slammed his chop sticks onto the top of his bowl as he glared at the red head across the cafeteria. Sitting with that kid. Moyashi. Kanda let out a growl and stood, shoving himself away from the table. He couldn't believe this. Lavi was his. Jealous?

No. He wasn't. He was just mad. That was it. Kanda had shoved that stupid Baka back to his master, and now he was being ignored. It was what he told himself he wanted. To be free of that stupid fire crotch, and back to his life.

As Kanda stormed out of the cafeteria, ponytail bobbing furiously, he failed to notice Lavi sneak a look at him out of the corner of his eye. Lavi wanted Kanda too, but hadn't dared to go near him again. It was too risky. Lavi had gotten half of his life back, he wasn't about to lose it again.

Kanda stormed out of the order, his knuckles white against the sword that he clutched constantly now. His eyes closed as he ran his free hand over the bridge of his pale and straight nose. He needed to get Lavi back.

XXXXXXXXXX

Lavi was sitting on the roof of the order, staring up at the stars, his green eye reflecting the light of the twinkling wonders in the air. His hands were out behind him, and his legs stretched out towards the window vent he had crawled up to get there. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

A slight breeze blew by, and it lightly played with the tendrils of Lavi's hair, blowing them away from his now healed face as the wind caressed his smooth face. He let his hands slid over the cool rock as he lowered himself, arms bending in the tight exorcist coat as he leaned back.

His back came to rest on the night cloaked roof of the building, his hands tucked neatly behind his fluffy red hair, the only splash of color on the black rock, the silver light of the moon and stars shining down around him. The night was perfect, and Lavi's breathing let his chest rise in a steady rhythm.

Lavi's eye closed, and he let the breeze carefully tickle his eyelashes as it blew by on its journey to who knew where. Lavi's breathing slowed, and he started to drift into a comfortable state of semi-consciousness that left him feeling light as the tendrils of wind that blew past him.

Somewhere around this peaceful time of night, a large clang was heard. Lavi's eyelid fluttered open as he took in a large shape emerging out of the vent. Lavi's hands scraped on the rock as he sat up, not sure if he was still dreaming or not.

Before him, stood Kanda. Those coal black eyes gleamed with the reflective light of the moon, the breeze playfully grabbing at his ponytail and tossing it in the wind along with his bangs. The black exorcist uniform was tight to his muscled body as he stood in Lavi's view, and Lavi's eye fought not to roam over that body.

"Kanda?" Lavi whispered into the night air, and the wind whipped at his words. Lavi couldn't move as he watched Mugen raise into the air, clenched tightly in Kanda's white hand, the moonlight giving him a vampire like glow as he took a step towards Lavi's still prone form.

Clang.

Lavi's eye slammed shut as he winced, waiting for the object to slam into his body and cleave him in two. Instead, he heard Kanda's usually light footsteps as they moved closer to him. Then, Lavi let out a gasp as something hit his legs, the green eye snapping open to catch the light of the moon and the sight of Kanda, straddling his legs, the blue haired exorcist's uniform tight against the front of his body.

Lavi's eye winced as the moon light sent down a beam that caught the discarded sword lying by Lavi's right side. His head slowly turned to look at the man straddling his legs with a determined look in those dark and forbidding eyes.

"Kanda, what are you-"BAKA!" Kanda snarled at him, and Lavi let out a pained gasp as Kanda's cold hands wrenched into his black coat, pulling Lavi's head close to Kanda's face. Lavi had no time to brace himself for Kanda. The blue haired man's mouth slammed into Lavi's with a force that took his breath away.

Lavi's lips molded to his lost lovers, and tired to part to get air, but Kanda's tongue was in his mouth. Ravishing his oral cavity as if it were food and Kanda was having his last meal. That tongue probed the back of Lavi's throat until he was gasping for breath against Kanda's mouth, locked against his.

Kanda broke the kiss, but only so his mouth could go to Lavi's throat. Lavi's breathing was ragged, and it turned to panting gasps as Kanda's mouth licked and sucked, rolling Lavi's sensitive skin around in his mouth like a little kid with a lolly pop.

"K-Kanda…….I….I, I can't…." But Lavi couldn't finish, he couldn't get a sentence out of his mouth as Kanda licked a thin wet line up behind his ear. Lavi shuddered beneath the blue haired man's touch, and then let out a gasp as Kanda's hot breath hit that sensitive spot.

"Baka, I'm not giving you a choice." Lavi tried to protest, digging his arms into Kanda's hips, trying to drive him off, but Kanda growled and shifted his weight, making Lavi cry out as Kanda's leather clad crotch rubbed against his opening through all that clothing. Kanda's large hands drove Lavi's chest back into the cool rocks, and the moonlight shone off of Lavi's coat zipper.

Kanda leaned over top of the bookman, his hands on either side of Lavi's shoulders as he straddled his lover. Lavi's wide green eye stared up at the man he wanted, and Kanda dipped his hips, sending Lavi's head back, and fluttering his eyelid as Kanda's body rubbed over that spot. Lavi bit back a whimper as Kanda leaned forward, and his teeth bit onto the metal zipper.

Somehow, Kanda managed to pull Lavi's zipper down while licking a thin and wet line down the chest he was exposing to the night air. Lavi gave a shudder, and bit his lip as the pants he was wearing became tight in all the wrong places. Leather was just not made to stretch.

Kanda gave a snarl.

"Off. Now." Lavi's body shook as he managed to struggle out of his jacket as Kanda sat on top of him, glaring down at Lavi's slightly muscled chest. With the clothes out of the way, Kanda leaned over, his own zipper pressing against Lavi's naked skin, and making him give a small cry from the cold temperature of the innocent object. Kanda had started to kiss around Lavi's collar bone, but Lavi managed to sit up a little.

"Yours off too," Lavi managed to gasp as Kanda gave a powerful suck on the soft spot of Lavi's neck. The blue haired man gave a growl and sat back up, and his long fingers reached the top of the zipper, and ever so slowly eased it down his chest. Lavi felt himself starting to get impatient, and he reached up to help, his hands trying to get Kanda's coat off.

Kanda gave him a wicked smile and batted his hands away, thrusting against Lavi's crotch through the pants hard enough to make Lavi gasp painfully. Kanda slid out of the jacket, and Lavi shivered as Kanda's long bangs brushed against his skin.

"I'm going to make you beg for it, Baka." Kanda whispered, his hands sliding back though that crop of silky blue hair to untie the ribbon that held it back, letting the curtain of dark blue cascade around his pale and perfect shoulders. Lavi's eye took in the glory of Kanda, above him in nothing but his pants, the hair and the way in fell in the darkness, the moon highlighting the blue and making it look silver. Yes. Then Kanda did something else that got his attention.

"Ah-h!" Lavi withered beneath Kanda as the man's hand caressed the front of his pants; that large need aching below the leather as Kanda's strong fingers gently went back and forth over the front of Lavi's already tight pants. Lavi gave a sharp cry, panting on the roof as Kanda's hand tightened, just enough to be this side of pleasure.

"Kanda! Please. P-pants off," Lavi managed to gasp as Kanda's hand moved, still gently stroking over the sensitive area. Lavi's eye rolled back and his breathing raggedly made its way out of his chest. Lavi held back a complaint as Kanda moved his hand, and it now slid teasingly around the top of his pants, balanced so delicately on his thin hips.

"You can do better than that, Baka." Kanda whispered, his body moving against Lavi's in a way that threatened, if kept up, to make Lavi go before he even had his pants off. Lavi let out a moan, trying to sit up, but every time he tried, it only rubbed him the right way, and he never made it up.

"Kanda please, take off my clothes, I'm not going to last." He breathily got out, his hands reaching up to push against Kanda's hips, stopping the man from driving into his body, so sore with need.

Kanda gave him a smirk and leaned forward, trapping Lavi's hands between his crotch and Kanda's. Lavi felt a blush stain his face as he felt Kanda's own need pressing against his thin fingers.

"Red becomes you," Kanda muttered, as he leaned forward more, making Lavi cry out as his own hand blocked him from feeling Kanda between his legs. Kanda took full advantage of this, and started to move his own trapped member over Lavi's trapped hands.

"Strip." Kanda whispered in Lavi's ear, and then moved back, so he was now sitting by Lavi's side, his hands resting on his thin and well formed hips, watching Lavi with hungry eyes.

Lavi was out of breath as he shakily stood, his hands fumbling with his belt in the moonlight that fell around him as Kanda's eyes roved over his body. Lavi let out a curse as the buckle wouldn't undo. He gave a cry of frustration as Kanda watched, and then rolled his eyes.

"Baka, you can't do anything right." Kanda hissed and crawled forward, Lavi's hands frozen in place as he watched Kanda's back muscles ripple as he moved towards his crotch. Lavi's green eye met Kanda's black one as those cold hands gripped his, and swiftly undid the belt, and once then his hands undid the zipper on Lavi's pants.

Before Lavi knew it, he was on the rocks again, this time, stark naked, and still ready. Kanda was over top of him, his hips pinning Lavi's uncovered skin to the rocks, and making him shiver. Kanda's boots were gone, but his pants were still there. Lavi let out a low growl of his own.

"Kanda, yours too." He breathed, and he let out a whimper of pleasure as the curtain of Kanda's hair gently flowed over the stomach on his skin, his eye riveted to the tight bulge in Kanda's pants, still trapped. Kanda gave him a smirk, and held up Lavi's discarded belt.

"Baka, you won't get anything your way tonight." Lavi shuddered as Kanda moved forward, his warm body sliding up Lavi's chest, and that tight bulge rubbing against Lavi's own member. Lavi gave a shudder as Kanda gave a light thrust, making Lavi wither against the rocks.

"Arms up." Kanda demanded, and Lavi wordlessly thrust his arms over his head, watching Kanda's face as the curtain of hair blocked the outside view. He gave a low moan as the belt tightened around his wrists, and Kanda gave a jerk against Lavi's lower regions, earning a smirk from the dominating man of the two.

"Kanda, fuck me, fuck me now." Lavi whispered, knowing full well that Kanda did hold a grudge from the first time Lavi had tricked Kanda into being on bottom. Revenge was best served hot and wet, and Kanda was doing it justice. With his hands firmly behind his head, Lavi gave a frustrated moan.

"Kanda!" The man in question smirked, and slid his pants off, his hands teasing the zipper down and making Lavi shudder impatiently. Soon, Kanda kneeled, now naked, between Lavi's legs, hanging straight and perfect, ready. Kanda held up his pale hand, his fingers dancing lightly over Lavi's own erect member.

"More foreplay?" Kanda lightly teased, his fingers tracing lightly over Lavi's lips now, threatening to enter the red head's mouth and make him suck. Lavi shook, the cold air nipping at his exposed body where Kanda wasn't touching him.

"NO! Kanda, please, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!" Lavi whimpered, not caring that he was doing just what Kanda wanted. He wanted Kanda inside of him, hot and warm and powerful, and he wanted it now. Kanda gave Lavi a smirk and dipped his hips, driving his tip ever so lightly against Lavi's opening, Lavi squirming against the rocks, driving his own hips up to met Kanda's length.

"Listen to you, my little Uke," Kanda let out a smirk, and plunged his body against Lavi, fighting for every inch as he drove himself against the man beneath him. Lavi let out a cry, his back arching against the rock as Kanda began to pull himself out, his eyelid fluttering as he fought for control. You can't win a loosing battle.

Lavi held on for three more thrusts before he came. Kanda's body, slowly rubbing over that spot deep in his body sent him over the edge, spilling onto the rocks, the moonlight hitting the puddles and making them glow silver. He heard Kanda give a soft moan and start to build, thrusting, and slamming his hips into Lavi's, making the bookman bow his back and slam his bound hands against the rock as he tried to find something to grab onto.

He found it. Over his head, his trapped hands found Kanda's face, and forced his head down with his bound hands. With a fervent heat, Lavi's mouth latched onto Kanda's as he thrusted over that deep hidden part of his body. Lavi felt himself beginning to build again as Kanda's tongue matched the rhythm of his member, now working its way farther in as Lavi got less tight.

Kanda's mouth was locked onto Lavi's, and Kanda drank down Lavi's scream as the exorcist came inside him, spilling his hot seed into Lavi, as far and as deeply down as he could get it. The exorcist below him squirmed and fought to cry out in pleasure as Kanda drank in his wordless screams, and rode held his body down as his back arched and his eye rolled back. It was too good…….Kanda gently broke the kiss, his lips caressing Lavi's face, like the wings of a butterfly.

Lavi was finally able to catch his breath as he lay there, panting, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his hard breathing only accompanied by Kanda's heavy gasps. A smile played over the face of the naked red head as he rested his cuffed hands over Kanda's neck, and his slim fingers played softly with the tendrils of silky hair he found.

"Kanda?" The man in question looked up from kissing Lavi's pale chest, and his eyes locked with Lavi's Kanda's eyes were hand, and Lavi swallowed as nervously.

"Say it."

"Kanda-Seme." Lavi leaned forward, feeling a bit of an ache that might be a problem later, stretch tight in his lower body. Lavi's lips softly found Kanda's, and they kissed gently, neither trying to dominate this time, just being.

The kiss lasted, and when Lavi broke apart, he saw something in Kanda's eyes that he hadn't seen before. Love. That look that only a man can get, staring into his lover's face and knowing that they were the only one for them. Lavi leaned in close and rested his head against Kanda's shoulder, before pulling the man down with him, so they both lay on the rocks.

Lavi snuggled against Kanda's now warm body, his red hair brushing against Kanda's chest. Lavi felt Kanda give a snort, and slide his hands around Lavi's back, his hands tracing small circles on the bare flesh.

"If I would have known it was that easy to get you to go…….." Kanda gave a smirk against Lavi's flaming hair, and felt the man below him stiffen. Kanda moved his head back just in time, that waterfall of blue hair dancing around him. Lavi's green eye bored into Kanda's and he gave a slightly playful growl, the dark shadow of his face hiding a heartened blush.

"Hmph. I could have lasted longer." Lavi stated, wishing he could cross his arms, but all he could do was scowl, the line cutting deep into his face. Kanda gave a growl, and a gleam was back in his eyes. One Lavi didn't like. The look that proved, without Lavi's trickery, there was no way he was Seme in this relationship.

"Is that so?" Kanda muttered, and ducked out of Lavi's hands, and bent down between Lavi's legs, his tongue licking along the inside of Lavi's thighs, bowing the boy's head as he bit back a moan. Kanda smiled as the red haired boy lay against the rocks, staring back at him over his own body.

"Because I defiantly wasn't finished, Lavi-Uke." Lavi froze against the rocks and then sat up, glaring at Kanda. His eye brow raised, and he scooted back on the rocks a little bit, so that Kanda would not be able to 'distract' him while he talked.

"Big talk coming from somebody that only topped once. Kanda-Ukmmmph!" Lavi's insult had gone the wrong way as Kanda pounced, his body slamming into Lavi's, and his mouth locking on the others. As Kanda's tongue thrust its way into Lavi's oral cavity, his hand slid lower, caressing things that made Lavi squirm beneath Kanda's slightly larger body; his moans not escaping the tight lip lock they now had.

Kanda broke the kiss, and Lavi came up gasping, his head thrown back as Kanda's slim fingers worked their way around his sensitive member, his breathing ragged in the cool night air. When Lavi had enough of his senses back to look up, he met Kanda's dark eyes, with a gleam in them that made Lavi swallow hard, forcing the lump down his throat.

"Uke, don't plan on sleeping tonight." Kanda whispered, and Lavi's retaliation was lost in a breathless scream as Kanda's hand moved.

In a half coherent thought, Lavi found that Kanda recovered rather quickly.

XXXXXXXXX

The next morning found Lavi's eye half cracked open in the early morning sun, and his hands still bound. He wearily shook his head, and looked over, not surprised to find Kanda awake. Both of them lay on the rocks on the top of the building, Kanda looking very much like a cat with way to much cream.

"Morning." Lavi whispered, and he gently moved his head and laid a kiss on Kanda's own lips, both of them rather swollen. Kanda kissed him back, his slim fingers running through Lavi's soft red hair. Lavi gave him a smile as the rays of light hit both men's hair, lighting it up and making the colors almost glow.

With a mischievous grin, that looked odd on Kanda's face, the man's hand slid down to Lavi's crotch. Lavi fought back a wince and groaned, his voice rough as pain seared through his body.

"Please, no more….." He moaned, and Kanda gave him a full blown smile this time and moved his hand, and this time, latched his mouth onto Lavi's. Lavi slowly kissed back, and then fell away, exhausted onto the rocks. His eye closed and he felt Kanda's gaze until his breathing slowed.

"You know we can't do this." Lavi whispered in the morning light, not even trying to move. Moving meant pain. A lot of pain. He was hurting, but it had been worth it. He heard the slither of leather as Kanda started to pull on his clothes.

"Then we'll just have to be careful." Lavi turned his head, and still didn't try to sit up. The little nerve receptors in his ass were going to be working overtime. Kanda came back over, nothing but his boxers on, and gave Lavi that small smile that he had only seen once before, earlier that morning. Kanda bent over, and Lavi smiled as his cool hair brushed over his skin.

Kanda's kiss was laid gently on his forehead, and the blue haired man stepped back. Lavi knew he would do anything for that smile. No one else ever got Kanda to flash teeth.

Lavi watched as Kanda finished dressing, knowing every inch of that muscled body. Kanda didn't look back as he made his way down back into the order, no one else up yet. Lavi gave a sigh in the air, and contemplated moving to get his clothes. Nah. His one eye closed and he let a breeze ruffle through his hair as he lay on the cool stone, his body utterly spent.

Everything had turned out okay.

"L-Lavi?!" Lavi let out a groan, almost cussing into the early morning air as a tuft of white hair peered out of the secret vent that was no longer a secret.

Well, almost everything.

XXX

Thank you so much for sticking with and reading all of this! It took awhile for me to pick an ending that worked, so I hope you like it! Review, and thanks again! It's finally finished! (Too a slight bit of my dismay……)


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